We’ve all heard that confession is good for the soul — but sometimes, it’s even better for a laugh. Especially when the people involved get a little too literal, a little too cheeky, or just downright creative with their interpretations of sin, forgiveness, and divine math.
In the wild world of Catholic confessions, anything can happen—from desperate justifications to holy hilarity — and the story you’re about to read is proof that even the most serious spiritual moments can take a left turn into the absurd. It all starts with one man, a little bit of guilt, a poor box full of promise, and a priest who’s way too familiar with the idea that “rubbing is the same as putting it in.”
What follows is a gut-busting chain of logic that would make even the most devout do a double take. So get ready to say a few Hail Marys between laughs—because this one takes “holy smokes” to a whole new level.
The joke
Married man went into the confessional and said to his priest;
“I had an affair with a woman… almost.”
The priest says, “What do you mean, almost?”
The man says, “Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped.”
The priest says, “Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You’re not to see that woman again. For your penance, say 5 Hail Marys and put $50 in the poor box.”
The man leaves the confessional, says his prayers, then walks over to the poor box.
He pauses for a moment and then starts to leave.
The priest, who was watching, quickly runs over to him saying, “I saw that, you didn’t put any money in the poor box!”
The man replied, “Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and according to you, that’s the same as putting it in!
Bonus: Dirty Joke 2
A decent dirty joke will always cheer people up and is perfect to share, during the summer afternoons, with your loved ones.
So today, we have another really good one. We hope you enjoy it as much as we did, sharing it around the office!
John was a happy guy who had a free Friday afternoon from work. So he decided to celebrate with a visit to the local bar.
He was quite popular in the area and kindly known by most people. Even the pretty ladies often sent flirty looks in John’s direction.
Confident, he stepped into the bar and greeted the guests, who happily welcomed him with their glasses raised high.
His head was pounding
It was a long and crazy night for John. He got drunk to the point of blacking out.
When he woke up in the morning, he had a massive headache, and his mouth felt like a desert. John sat in bed and tried to remember what he’d done yesterday but couldn’t recall anything past the first couple of hours.
However, he noticed that he was naked, and when John looked down, he got the shock of his life.
John was scared shitless
Around his penis, he saw a red and a brown ring. John immediately felt lightheaded. He did not know what those two rings were doing around his shaft.
After being scared shitless thinking about the worst case scenario, John rushed to the hospital to get examined.
Where in the world did the rings come from?
Showed the snot to the doctor
Once inside the doctor’s, John had to pull down his trousers and show his manhood to the doctor.
“Mhmm‚ mhmm,” the doctor hummed.
“What, what does that mean!?” John asked nervously.
“Well John, I’ve got good news and bad news. Which one do you want first?”
“Give me the good news first doc.”
“The red ring is lipstick,” the doctor said calmly.
“Oooh, wow, all right! So I got a blowjob yesterday.” John smiled proudly. “Thank god, but what’s the bad news?”
The doctor chuckled and said:
“The brown ring is Copenhagen.”
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